


Mistake

by MaddieandChimney



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24393484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: “You’re not a mistake… you weren’t to your mom, to Mr and Mrs Lee, to Kevin… to me…” Her hand moved to her still growing bump, “To us. To anyone who matters…”
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12
Collections: Madney One-Shots





	Mistake

"You're a god damn mistake, that's what you are." 

It felt as though he had been punched in the face. 

He stumbled back, he wanted to cry but he didn’t want to give the other man the satisfaction. Instead, he clenched his fists, digging his nails as hard as he could into the palm of his hands. His breathing was heavy, and he needed to escape but instead, he stood his ground. It didn’t make a difference though, no matter how hard he tried to come up with something to say, there were no words. 

His father was standing in front of him, that look of disappointment he wore so well. “Get out.” It wasn’t him who had spoken, instead, his five foot two girlfriend had slid herself between the two men, her glare fixated on the eldest Han. His hand had been raised, he had been more than ready to hit his first born son as he screamed at him. 

Chimney felt the familiar taste of bile rising up his throat, and he dug his nails in harder. How he longed to run away, but what kind of boyfriend and father would he be if he let his pregnant girlfriend take complete control of the situation? The panic was rising though, his heart was clenching and he was suddenly reminded of being a young boy, wondering why his father didn’t love him enough to fight for him. Now, he supposed it made sense - if all he ever had been was a mistake, and maybe that would have stung less had it not also meant, he probably thought his mother was a mistake, too. And she had been too good for him, too good for anyone. 

“Stay away from Albert.” Were the last words from the bitter, elderly man, easily able to look over Maddie’s head, right at his son. _Albert_ \- the reason they had been arguing in the first place. He still didn’t say anything though, and he didn’t have to, because she was there, furious enough for the two of them. He could tell by the way her shoulders had tensed, how she was trying to stand as tall as she possibly could. 

“Albert is old enough to make his own decisions,” She snapped, practically pushing him out the door, “If I see you again, I’ll call the police.” And then she slammed the door shut, causing the picture frame nearest to shake a little before she turned around to face the man she loved. 

The look on his face spoke volumes, he didn’t have to say a word for her to know exactly how he was feeling. He had spoken to her about his mother only a handful of times, more so since they had found out she was pregnant. She knew of the pain and the bitterness Howie felt towards his childhood and the man who claimed to be his father. No amount of acceptance would ever erase the years he had struggled to accept the fact he was unwanted, unloved by the very man who should have been there.

“Talk to me, please?” 

Instead, he ran towards their bathroom. The brunette sighed when she heard the sound of the lock turning, knowing she had no choice but to wait for him. She knew when to push, and when to wait, it was one of the things she had to learn about him in his most anxious moments. This was going to be one hell of a roller-coaster for him though, and her heart broke when she heard the sound of him retching between sobs. 

Five minutes passed, before she knocked at the door, “Howie… can you let me in, please? I just need to see you, to make sure you’re okay.” The toilet flushed, giving her reason for hope that he would unlock the door. Or at least say something to let her know he was okay - he hadn’t spoken a word since _that_ moment. “Howie–”

The water was running, but there was still nothing. 

“You’re not a mistake… you weren’t to your mom, to Mr and Mrs Lee, to Kevin… to me…” Her hand moved to her still growing bump, “To us. To anyone who matters…” 

The door opened suddenly, “I should have said something to him but I couldn’t breathe. I just stood there and let him–I let him win.” With a sigh, she stepped towards him, placing a gentle hand on his cheek, “What did he win?” She whispered, “Because he’s the one that’s going to end up alone. He lost you, you didn’t lose him.” 

He wanted to believe her words, he really did. He wanted to stop hating himself for not being able to stand up for himself, for letting her do it for him. He wanted to stop replaying the word ‘mistake’ in his head but the anxiety was rising again, “All I ever was to him was a mistake, and all I’ve ever wanted to do is gain his approval. I-I have tried for forty-three years to impress him and for what?” 

The frustration had finally been released, and Maddie knew she had to let him rant, she had to let him get out everything he would have wished he could have said to his face, “I’m an idiot, Maddie. I stood there and I let you chuck him out when I should have said something. Anything! I should have—” He sobbed and her heart broke for him, as she finally watched him accept the fact that he wasn’t going to ever have the biological father he deserved. 

“She was so good, Maddie… why did she have to go? It should have been him.” 

He sobbed, before his hands moved towards her bump, “I-I’m going to do better. I’m going to be better. I promise, Maddie… I’m going to be the best dad, and the best husband… one day. A-and I’m sorry, that you had to stand between us, I’m sorry that I didn’t stand up for us, for myself.” 

With a soft laugh, she pressed her lips to his forehead, “Standing in between you and anyone who tries to hurt you, is exactly where I want to be.” She repeated the words her little brother had said to her so many years ago, before she could have imagined how good life would be. The words that had stuck with her for so long, she hoped they would offer him the same comfort they had given her. 


End file.
